Couples Counseling
First comes love, then comes marriage, then comes….disagreements, frustration?
Research shows that couples wait an average of seven years before seeking out help for marriage problems! Couples often believe that marriage counseling is a last resort, or that a marriage needs to be “bad enough” to attend counseling. However, counseling can be a great opportunity to check in on your relationship, learn tips, and prevent future problems.
Reasons to consider Counseling
There is hope for couples who feel disappointment or frustration in their marriage. Couples seek out marriage counseling for a variety of reasons:
Improving communication. Couples can learn effective communication skills, such as active listening and expressing needs and emotions in a constructive manner.
Building emotional connection: Couples deepen their emotional connection by fostering understanding, empathy, and responsiveness to each other's needs.
Addressing conflict constructively. Conflict is inevitable in any relationship. Counseling provides tools to navigate conflicts in a way that is constructive rather than detrimental to the relationship.
Rebuilding trust. Counseling can guide couples through the process of healing and rebuilding trust after infidelity or betrayal.
Maintaining relationship satisfaction. Regular relationship check-ins through counseling can help couples address issues and prevent the buildup of resentment.
Managing life transitions. Life changes, such as the birth of a child, career changes, retirement, becoming a caregiver, or losing a loved one can impact a relationship. Counseling can help couples navigate these changes together and reduce conflict during transitional times.
Types of Couples Counseling
There are several types of couples counseling. Look for a counselor that works with your particular issues.
Premarital counseling is geared towards couples preparing for marriage. Sessions are tailored to help couples explore and understand their expectations, values, and potential challenges. It aims to build a strong foundation for a healthy and lasting marriage.
Traditional couples counseling is the most common form of couples therapy, where couples meet with a licensed therapist to discuss their issues, improve communication, and work on problem solving skills.
Gottman Method Couples Therapy is an approach that focuses on building and maintaining the foundation of a strong marriage. It involves assessing the couple's relationship using specific tools and interventions to improve communication and resolve conflicts.
Emotionally Focused Therapy (EFT) is based on the research of Sue Johnson. It is designed to help couples understand and reshape the emotional responses that drive their interactions. It emphasizes creating a secure emotional bond between partners and is particularly effective for couples dealing with trust or intimacy issues.
Restoration therapy is a holistic form of therapy that uses faith-based practices to promote healing and recovery.
How to know it is time
If your relationship is experiencing any of the following issues, it might be time to attend couples counseling:
Recurring arguments
Communication issues
Lack of intimacy
Emotional or physical affairs
Healing for betrayal
Life transitions
Parenting challenges
Feeling stagnant
Unresolved issues
Loss of connection
Check out This article in the Houston Moms blog written by Marisa Cockrell, LPC, which talks about 7 warning signs that can help you know if your marriage is headed for trouble.
In the meantime
If you and your partner are not ready to take the next step to attend marriage counseling, there are things you can do now that can help you improve your relationship.
Set aside time each day to connect. Setting aside a few minutes to talk can be a great first step in reconnecting.
Make time for date night! Maybe you can only sneak away for a date once a month because of your many responsibilities. That’s okay! Connecting with just the two of you on a regular basis can help improve the relationship.
Talk about more than just logistics! The Gottman Card Decks will give you a steady stream of ideas for conversation topics. Find them here.
Be a good listener! Put away your phone or other distractions and take the opportunity to really hear what your partner is saying. If you feel defensiveness rising, take a few deep breaths to recenter yourself and re-engage with your partner.
book resources:
- written by Melissa Reneau, MA, LPC-Associate, under supervision of Michele Bachman, MA, LPC-S
Here Comes the Sun Counseling has several therapists trained to see couples. Melissa Reneau is trained in Emotional Focussed Couples Counseling (EFT), Marisa Cockrell and Nathan Blattman are trained in Restoration Therapy, Level 1. Check out their bios here.